I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
