"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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