why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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