this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
