Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
