No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
When did angry sex become our thing?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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