Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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