Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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