i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
