he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
