allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
