I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
