uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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