some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My breasts were aching with rage.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
