She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
