Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
