covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
