Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
