Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
