the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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