I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
