Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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