Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
