so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
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