I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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