i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
This toilet bowl is my home.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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