he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
