i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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