He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
