Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
