I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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