does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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