So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm both gender and math confused
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
