You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
