The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
