I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
