i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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