i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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