Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
