The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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