I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
