I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
