Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
