How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
