White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
