Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
