I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
