the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm at about main and main street
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
