you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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