i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
