i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
