coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
